funny response to are you still alive

This one is a bit long. If I had a tail, I would wag it! funny response to are you still alive 74. Follow us on Instagram Facebook Twitter Pinterest and we promise, well be your lucky charm to a beautiful love life. 2023 BDG Media, Inc. All rights reserved. There's no reason why you should have to express emotions to whoever asked. Thomas Andrew Lehrer (/ l r r /; born April 9, 1928) is an American musician, singer-songwriter, satirist, and mathematician, who later taught mathematics and musical theater.He recorded pithy and humorous songs that became popular in the 1950s and 1960s. Because you havent put a ring on it yet. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Make sure the person you say this to is able to take a joke. Here are some funny, witty, snarky, smart, and sarcastic responses to some of those annoying everyday questions its hard to avoid: I couldnt possibly cover all of the annoying everyday questions that are probably chipping away at you, but here are some of the most popular: Related 26+ Funny Responses to Being Asked on a Date (Replying Yes or No), Related 29+ Funny Responses to Compliments. Its going great, really! I used to think you were a pain in the neck. But, if you do say it, it will highlight the problem. Hi! 11. Because if you are, youre doing it right. Hopefully, not as good as I will ever be. Alright so far, but there is plenty of time for things to get bad. 150+ Funny and Witty Answers to the Question "How Are You?" It's one of the best replies to "How are you?". Now I have a much lower opinion of you. 100 Funny and Witty Quotations About Age and Getting Older - Holidappy Edgar A Shoaff (author), "Death is a very narrow theme, but it reaches a wide audience." Brilliant! When you look at what some people have done for each other and compare it to what you expect. Over The Phone or On The Phone Which is Correct? All you have to do is save this page, or commit to memory some of our favorite insults from the following list, and youll be all set. 45 Funny Memes About Life in 2023 - Happier Human 2. Have you met food? 5. Check out: Image credits Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash. 79. Do you have a minute? Cant complainI have tried, but no one listens. Want to equip yourself with more responses? Tell them to stop being nosy and avoid answering. Be grateful if it happens in that order. David Gerrold (author), Self-decapitation is an extremely difficult, not to say dangerous, thing to attempt. WS Gilbert (dramatist), I bequeath my entire estate to my wife on the condition that she marries again. Youre worse. "Can't complain" is a normal response to the question, but by throwing in the following sentence, you should get a laugh. It would be easy to answer that question with a simple "I'm fine, thank you.". Plotting how Im going to take over the world. "Alright. If I was any better, vitamins would be taking me. Physically? 2. Things could be worse I could be you (for siblings ). Now that is pretty f****** funny. 68. 69. ", This one works well when you're still in your pajamas or are having a bad hair day. 30 Funny Comebacks For Late Messages - Grammarhow You don't want others to assume that you feel as horrible as you look, so this is the way to set them straight. "All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage." Lord Byron (poet) "Ugh I was so lazy this week. Well, Im hoping its going to get a lot better, I cant lie. What to say when your crush asks how you are? This just in: Bad communication skills are not trending this season! Privacy Policy. Physically? Socioeconomically? There are nosy people everywhere! Although for some, traveling to your partner might not be an option. Get the very best of LovePanky straight to your inbox! You just have bad luck at thinking. Im not ready to share my food with anyone yet. "Still alive" is polite. Your friends will expect you to say "fine" or "good," so shake things up by providing an unexpected answer. You want to make them laugh, not yell. Maybe this person really likes you, and they have a heart condition. 29. 81. Sort: Relevant Newest # living # seth meyers # im here # its me # lnsm # tired # dead # shot # arrows # loser # hello # hi # hey # tap # listen # alive # pearl jam # eddie vedder # i'm good # i'm ok 7. Your 3rd @ has one shot to make a three or you die. Another common excuse that younger people tend to give when they take a long time to reply is Ive been busy with uni. I hated you the moment I met you, and I still hate you. You may have noticed that I take a step back when we talk. All our lives, we were taught to follow our passion. Funny give back answer for who are your ex boyfriends? 3. Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. Its a before picture in one of those plastic surgery magazines, isnt it? At the end of the day, if theyre not putting in the effort to let you know theyre not interested, theyre probably not worth your time. Just standing here waiting for stupid questions I guess. Trying to understand the meaning of life or the universe at least. How do you want me to be? Some good old fashioned sarcasm, there is nothing wrong with it. Not so much. Funny responses to "How are you?" Photo courtesy of Canva. Or you could be humorous back at them and say "No, I'm not. Everything is always better on payday right!? I do admite that sometimes I hate life, sometimes my hate being in the world! Obviously, thats because I dont have a boyfriend/girlfriend! This is another funny response that you can use to say that you did a little something different this morning. Hemali Adhiya, ICF Certified Relationship Coach, Expertise: Relationships, Marriage, Couples, Grief, Life Coaching, Hemali is an ICF-Certified ACC Level Life Coach with 3 years of experience in relationship, marriage, and grief coaching. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Some Funny Responses to Everyday Questions. Martin has been featured as an expert in communication and teaching on Forbes and Shopify. Everyone wants me, but no one dares! Im telling you, the trash gets taken out more than me. Average, I think, that sounds about right. . This might be okay if they take up to 24 hours, but not more than that. Well, I was trying to be invisible but I guess that didnt work. Perhaps you are just such an exciting person. Its better to be single with high standards than be in a relationship settling for less. 22. For some reason, some people think that not texting back is cool. A A A Remember the time when you hated your ex too much that you wanted him dead? Most of the time, that is not true. 50. It's Okay. Recognize the other person's boundaries, and try not to cross them. You go first, lets see if mine was better or worse. Rotting flesh is less offensive than you. Listen, maybe your crush really did lose their phone. I'd love to give you a nasty look, but it appears you already have one. So the next time someone asks you why you're still. Hopefully, youll stay there. Not sure why you're asking me my age. 350 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic. I repeat I am plural! 3. 3. 25 Witty Comebacks To Use On Terrible Pick Up Lines 13. However, I dont recall anything about morons. If you knock on my hearts door, I might let you in. How Am I Still Alive. Just Smile And Nod Stellar, great, fantastic but dead inside. [Read: 33 very creative insults to intellectually insult someone with your sarcasm]. Clever comebacks not only showcase your distastethey demonstrate your intelligence, too. Depends who you ask, if you ask me, it was fine. This one is a bit depressing, which is why you should watch when you use it. Despite not being the most popular topic of conversation, the concept of death has inspired quite a few clever and insightful sayings over the years. Nevertheless, it can be a great approach to start a lively discussion! Youre a ground-hugger. I had been dead for billions of years before I was born and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience. Mark Twain (author), Im not afraid to die, I just dont want to be there when it happens. Woody Allen (comedian), The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates. Dave Barry (author), Always go to other peoples funerals, otherwise they wont come to yours. Yogi Berra (baseball player), Im very pleased to be here. But Ive also had better. Reply. Stupidity isnt a crime. It depends on what or who I compare myself to. If you don't want to explain how you're feeling, then don't. You could totally take the high road: Lose their number and forget about them altogether or, you could do that after sending them a final funny (but fierce) text to bid your time together adieu. Maybe I am a kindergartner? Voice command: Alexa, I am your father. It's best to say when you're in a horrible situation, like in a class you can't stand. Should I consider that a marriage proposal from you? If you are not happy being single, then you will never be happy being in a relationship. All rights reserved. Like seriously, you hoped for him to be run over by a truck or something. Im still waiting for my Superman/Wonder Woman. You can put your foot in your mouth and your head up your ass at the same time! 59. Thats the biggest joke Ive heard recently. I'm not Hal and we're not in space. Hanging by a thread. Im jealous of people who dont know you. 900+ MAXINE CARTOONS ideas | maxine, bones funny, funny quotes - Pinterest I get my daily paper, look at the obituaries page and if Im not there, I carry on as usual." Death is inevitablesome might even say it is a terminal inconvenience or a reason to suddenly stop sinning. Be Thankful To Be Alive Quotes (6 quotes) - goodreads.com How To Answer "Why Are You Single?": 33 Ideas - Elite Daily 76 Best Replies and Answers to How Are You Doing? - Trending Us [Read: 30 foolproof pickup lines and 10 you should never ever use]. You have an old soul. 52. The person will likely pick up on the joke, making this awkward situation something that can be laughed off. When you show them how you're not affected by them at all, that's when your comedic skills become the best and make others laugh as well. For more information, please see our Not. You may join me, though. How impressive! The Funniest Replies for People Who Are Always Asked "Are You Okay?" Then you die. Also you texted very late; I would think one of my friends were joking or drunk since it's near Halloween. Sure, we all have things to do, but when someone takes two days to reply, that is a sign that they are the problem. Keep calm and be awesome. 1. Firing back with something a little funny or witty will make them take notice! What should I doI like you too much. This one is good. I've come up with a compilation of funny and clever answers to the question Why are you still single?. 25. conservation international ceo; little debbie peanut butter creme pies discontinued. Check-in later and well find out if I did or not. | Are you surviving? Maybe because I have a Ph.D. in impatience. Use them as you see fit when someone pokes their nose on your relationship status. Now you can be! Trying to remember the name of that weird person you remind me of. As anyone who knows anything about human biology will know, when a woman misses her period, that is a sign she is pregnant.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,100],'grammarhow_com-box-3','ezslot_13',105,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-box-3-0'); Therefore, if she were to rely on your messages for her period, she would be pregnant by now. Single is the new blackif that even makes sense! Ever wondered: "What if I'm buried when I'm just in a coma?" Sure isnt my pay, Im still pretty broke. 5 Ways To Respond To Hey Stranger And Other Annoying Texts 48. 28. If you've ever worked in an office, used municipal buildings or lived in a city, chances are, you already know what public notices are bland, dull, usually complaining and rarely funny posters that tell us somewhat useful information about all kinds of things. 92. I like being single. [Read: How to have playful banter and keep the flirting alive forever]. You speak as if youre not single yourself! Taco Tuesday is pressure enough, I tell you! upstart loan login; jim bell siloam mission salary; . So, it might be wise to double-check they're still alive before you complain. Not me, Im pretty depressed but thanks for asking. 2. Checklists & Reminders! Usually, people live and learn. On this page, I've gathered together 100 of the best. How dare you assume such a thing just a confusing remark. And maybe thats the reason why theyre taking so long to reply. But still, some people will try to satisfy their curiosity and meddle with your personal life. I dont follow boys/girls because theyre not my passion. 78. I dont know where you got your looks, but I hope you kept the receipt. Sometimes, it can be hard thinking on your feet, especially when youre joking around with your friends or in the midst of a heated exchange. Here are some of the most humorous replies to "How are you? Id punch you in the face, but the thought of touching your face disgusts me. 67 Of The Most Hilarious Responses To Public Notices Ever 26. Are you going to marry me? *wink*. Ive had worse. I love you. 5. I am not sure what you mean. (Say it like he or. (This line came from the cartoon show. It's best part of the whole movie. Shooting yourself in front of the person who asked. Lets just say if I was a Pokmon, my ability would be Oblivious., Listen, that feeling we call love is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. No, waitIm actually plural. I'm overqualified! Just because you have a dick doesnt mean you need to act like one. I dont think youre an idiot but whats my opinion compared to countless others? Its too small to be out there all alone. funny response to are you still alive. 3. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two." Lets face itat my age, Im very pleased to be anywhere. George Burns (comedian), The trouble with quotes about death is that 99.9% of them are made by people who are still alive. Joshua Burns, All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage. Lord Byron (poet), Im always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize that Im listening to it. George Carlin (comedian), For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off. Johnny Carson (talk show host), I am prepared to meet my maker. 99 Savage And Funny Answers To "How Old Are You?" I mean, no matter how amazing our lives are, there's always something to complain about. Copyright 2011 - 2023 IncNut Stylecraze Private Limited. The music billboard charts got it wrong! 11. In reality, they are not cool, they are just rude. Too early to say, it hasnt finished yet. Martin holds a Masters degree in Finance and International Business. 60. Because they are already taking their time. Some people are going to find your witty responses funny, and some people arent. Sounds like effort to me. It could be raining men, and Id still be single. 95. Keep talking. 87. Wondering How You Are 1 I'm Better on the inside than I Look on the outside This one works well when you're still in your pajamas or are having a bad hair day. #fyp #basketball #viral #fyp #viralvideo #funny #comedy". The next time the cat gets your tongue, heres a big list of good, witty, nasty, funny sarcastic and clever comebacks for every conversation, no matter where you are! With a self-assured stance and casual body language, you won't create any . Or, "Happy and content, thanks for asking. can be tackled in some really interesting ways. Are you going to help me have a good day? I'm sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. Your secrets are always safe with me. It takes a specific kind of person to ghost someone its really not that hard to send a quick Im not interested text but rest assured, they exist. Do you want the short or the detailed version? 39. I'm so sorry I expected you to acknowledge my existence after hanging out? Pick your struggle. One common excuse that people come up with when they take a while to reply is Im bad at replying. Here are 55 funny coronavirus memes that will make you LOL. Who told you that? My guardian angel be like 2. I dont know whether to laugh at you or pity you. They used to call them jumpolines, until your mom jumped on one. Wait, are you my Superman/Wonder Woman? No, I'm Finnish. Are you still alive? Follow for more funny content!! #fyp #bask [Read: How to be funny and make someone laugh over text just by being YOU]. It is a basic courtesy that when one of your leads converts to a paying customer, you demonstrate your gratitude and make their transfer as smooth as possible. Your hair looks great! Rita Rudner (comedian), "When I die, I want my body to be donated for research, but more specifically, to a scientist who is working on bringing dead bodies back to life." Come on, now I want you to whisper that question slowly to my ear. Still, the ghosters ghost on. Save the high-quality PDF version on your device now. It is a humorous way of saying they have not heard from you in a while. The police? Well, are you? I wrote him a cheque for it, post-dated of course. Chic Murray (comedian), When I die, I hope to go to heaven, whatever the hell that is. Ayn Rand (author), The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesnt get worse every time congress meets. Will Rogers (actor), "My grandmother was a very tough woman. It can be good to just say it how it is. Nikhil Saluja, "Immortality . My bed only has enough room for me and my dog. 67. Hey, whered you get that nose? 80. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. HubPages is a registered trademark of The Arena Platform, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. The living are getting rarer. Eugene Lonesco (playwright), Dying is easy; its living that scares me to death. Annie Lennox (musician), If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the UP button. Sam Levenson (humorist), Ive looked that old scoundrel death in the eyes many times but this time I think he has me on the ropes. Douglas MacArthur (general), Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up. Wilson Mizner (playwright), The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades, especially if your teammates are bad guessers. Demetri Martin (comedian), I intend to live forever or die trying. Groucho Marx (comedian), Death is a very dull, dreary affair, and my advice to you is to have nothing whatsoever to do with it. William Somerset Maugham (author), The art of dying graciously is nowhere advertised in spite of the fact that its market potential is great. Milton Mayer (author), At my age, I do what Mark Twain did. "It's your ego that wants to lash out," Winter tells Bustle. funny response to are you still alive - claudiovoiceovers.com 35 Best Replies To "I Miss You" (Cute & Friendly) - Grammarhow Do you have a minute? is perfect for lunch-time banter with colleagues. 15. The following two tabs change content below. Why do you ask? Playful and sassy dig, then blocked. This one kills me! I dont feel that great, but look! Thank you, it made my day. Thats funny, because everyone on it is a prick. But it does help if you know your audience when responding to someone. 2 I ask for your birth chart one time, and suddenly, I'm a mind-reading witch that knows what you're thinking. Passed into the next room and told me to tell you go fuck yourself. "You know I can do this anytime.". Whilst university does present some challenges, it does not mean you need to take several days to reply to a message.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[120,600],'grammarhow_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_16',108,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-large-leaderboard-2-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[120,600],'grammarhow_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_17',108,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-large-leaderboard-2-0_1');.large-leaderboard-2-multi-108{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:15px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:15px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:600px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. What is the polite way for asking if someone is still alive? What could go wrong? Because your ass is out of this world! Like are you asking because you really wanna hear whats up?. Nice outfit. How to answer when someone asks me, "Are you still alive - Quora Why is it OK for you to be an idiot, but not OK for me to point it out? Unlikely, but worth a shot. Humans are sophisticated beings, but we are also creatures of habit who say one thing while we mean something else. bluntz strain indica or sativa; best mobile number tracker with google map in nepal (Wriggle your hips), Oh, stop it, will you? Alternatively, you can let them know you are doing well but still need time to process your emotions. While I'd love to give you the technique behind his funny comeback I can't. He may simply be one of the quickest minds in the West. If there is just one valid reason for someone not replying to you, that reason would be their death. Me being single is just a conspiracy! Im too expensive. I hear good things; however, you should never listen to rumors. I think it's a great response when you're possibly feeling cranky. 18. Discover what these funny, yet morbid, jokes about burial and death have in common in this hilarious piece about "Alive Jokes". Its the same reason why I dont post pictures of myself. He will be missed. #maudit # peter o'toole # happy birthdayyy # im glad youre still alive. Oof, gotta hide! Use them as you see fit when someone pokes their nose on your relationship status. I've Tried, but No One Listens, If I Was Any Better, Vitamins Would Be Taking Me, Better than I Was a Minute Ago, Because You're Here, Okay, Because My Name Wasn't in Today's Obituaries. [Read: 48 smart and sarcastic lines and quotes that kick ass!]. 100+ Funny Things to Ask Alexa (with its Hilarious Responses) - ITTVIS Ever wanted to be the wise-ass who always has a comeback for everything? Well, I'm old enough to beat you in a marathon. The person who told you to be yourself gave you some bad advice. Im single by choice. Because I prefer the company of dogs/cats rather than humans. Whats with all these questions? You do the work of three men: Larry, Moe, and Curly. On a scale of 1 to 10, Id say somewhere between 1 and 10. 82. 16. 19. 8. 9. Brian OldWolf (author) from Troon on January 20, 2020: Shing Araya from Philippines on January 08, 2020: All are witty and funny at the same time. Grab a few of these snarky but oh-savage good comebacks ahead of time, and youll be ready to win any argument. Because nowadays, the industry prefers singles over albums. I have a gold watch that belonged to him. My day was fine, it was everything else that was the problem. There is not always a need to be so funny, witty, or clever. More like give me a sign that you're still alive. But half the time, it is a nightmare. Scientists say the universe is made up of electrons, protons, and neutrons. Could Be Payday. It may come across as insensitive, but that's just how our current world works. What an impertinent question to ask a girl! Id hug and kiss you if you were single, just like me. Your relationship status is your business alone (and your partners, if you have one). If receiving a text from your ex elicits strong negative feelings, it is best not to respond. 45. My lawyer told me not to answer that question. 14. Another way to say Still Alive? I'm happy! Because Ive been waiting for you all my life. Because no one worthy has beaten me yet in a card fight! 12. Not even the fussiest, or clingiest person in the world would expect a dead person to reply to them. Which one you use would depend on particular circumstances, but in the example you gave, I think "still alive" probably works best. People tend to ask the same questions whenever you see them, which is why you should have a few different replies to "How are you?" Everyone always thinks being asked how you are means your health or a general standing-but what about if it isn't? Maybe because I like pineapples on my pizza? If someone takes a long time to reply, it can feel much longer than it is. 1. 36. The 'Sex And The City' Cab Light Theory, Revisited, It's Hot When People Call You By Your Last Name, I Never Feel Older Than When I Try To Make A TikTok, Get Even More From Bustle Sign Up For The Newsletter. Being single is much better than being married. Required fields are marked *. Still with us. Hemali is an ICF-Certified ACC Level Life Coach with 3 years of experience in relationship, marriage, and grief coaching. Another excuse that people use is Im just hoping in the shower. For example, when people expect you to say yes, you say no; when people wish you to say a big number, you give a tiny number. I dont tell you how to live your life, dont tell me how to live mine thanks. Why dont you tell me, you seem to have a pretty good view from there. Youre supposed to think that theyre so busy being cool that they dont have time for you. I'm Not Sure How to Answer That!? It would be great if puppies would stay puppies forever. 8. 64. 94. 51 Funny and Flirty Responses to "How Are You" Texts I am doing wellor that could be my anti-depressants speaking. I think I am doing alright. But, because they have taken so long to reply, you have grown older and wiser. 10. If you want me to accept you as you are, Im going to have to lie to myself about liking you. 24+ Clean Comebacks for Bullies Thatll Make You Smile, Is My Boss a Narcissist Quiz (10 Questions to Help You Find Out!). I'm not saying I hate you, what I'm saying is that you are literally the Monday of my life.

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